In all of my years of searching for something I never really knew what is was, I came to the conclusion that it was actually nothing special.

I thought the big break through would be spiritual or somehow the abundance of life or all the love for myself would feel so different. But it wasn’t like that at all, haha. Although it was really hard to accept that because I was afraid that would mean that nothing would change, it makes me smile very hard right now.

It was in the ironic acceptance that life can be so tremendously unfair, that I started to love it. We just never know what is next, the only thing is that you know you will be there, as yourself. That really sucks sometimes, and that is so beautiful most of the time.

I really believe that by embracing the fact that life just happens and sometimes it can feel or is so random, safety and happiness can be born again. I thought that would mean that was the feeling that fear always is around the corner, that I had to accept thàt.

My goodness no it wasn’t that feeling. It’s about – unfortunately –

not having any control about a lot of thing in your life. But you do have a big influence on how you build your life with everything you’ve got. Because its yours. So slowly, almost without noticing, suddenly my own life became my happy place.

It still feels new and vulnerable to say that. But I believe it is because I am in it. And that’s the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. And yet – its absolutely nothing special.

And that’s why it ours. And always will be. And you will never ever miss out on that.

I would be so honored if this inspired some of you. I hope so! 🙂

I hope you have a beautiful day.

Love,

Pien

P.S. I made this picture yesterday with morning dew beside my new house. I moved from Amsterdam to a tiny village next to it and still discovering everything here. I think my film is a little bit expired so its a bit vague, but I love it so much! I will share more about my new life, interior and inspirations here on my blog so feel free to stay around!